Hold Tight To Him And My Bible
by IfOnlyThereWasAHunter
Summary: Stephanie comes from a very religious family. What happens when bad boy Paul steps into her life?
1. They Way We Met

"You just remember that women are meant to be seen, and admired Stephanie, not heard." My dad yelled from the front seat. My mom and I were in dresses in the backseat, my brother and father in suits up front. "That stunt you pulled last week, talking during my conversation. I should've backhanded you right then, and there. You're truly lucky I waited till we got home." Shane gave an agreeing grunt from the passenger seat. "Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

"I'm sorry."

"Good. Those are the last two words I wanna hear out of you for the rest of the evening. Understood?" I nodded silently, trying to obey him. "Answer me!"

"Yes." I fought back the tears, he was always like that, always so mean to my mom and I.

We sat through Wednesday church quietly, I held my Bible in my lap tightly, shaking my foot every now and then. Every time I looked up, Mr. Levesque was looking at me, a flirty smirk on his face.

After church my mom followed my dad to talk with some people from the congregation. I walked alone to the car, it was beginning to drizzle. Women don't get umbrellas in my family. All I could do was wrap my sweater tighter around my shoulders. And try to stay somewhat warm in my light nylons.

"You're getting rained on." A man's voice said next to me. I watched him take off his jacket and wrap it over my shoulders. "Scoot in, then we can share my umbrella." He was dressed in church clothes, holding a stack of books in his arms, bible, notebook and book of hymns. "Come on Ms. McMahon, you can't enjoy getting rained on." He reached for my hand, pulled me under his umbrella. I wasn't holding his jacket on me, it swallowed my small frame and stayed on without any help. "So are you playing the stoic right now?" He leaned over and fixed his jacket, buttoned one of the buttons to it would stay loosely fixed on my shoulders. "I'm Paul, Paul Levesque. I've wanted to say hi for a long time now. But your dad was always right there. Today was my first chance." I stayed quiet, remaining unheard.

I had been admiring Paul from across the church or parking lot for several weeks, probably months. We'd never spoken a word to each other, and I never thought we would. "Ms. McMahon, let me hear your voice. I'm sure it's just as pretty as you."

"Excuse me." My dad approached us with his 'I mean business' walk. "Stephanie, are you, are you wearing his coat?" I stayed silent. "Explain yourself Stephanie!" He was embarrassing himself, his voice boomed even with an audience.

"Mr. McMahon, no disrespect, but there really isn't anything for her to explain. She looked cold, so I offered her my coat. She didn't say anything. But I wrapped it around her anyway. It started to rain, so I shared my umbrella with her. She didn't say anything again. Then you came over."

"I'm her father, and quite frankly I don't appreciate you speaking to her, or offering her your coat without my permission."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to ask."

"Well you do."

"My apologies. How do I go about asking your for permission?"

"Wouldn't matter, someone with your reputation has no reason to be around my daughter. Please retrieve your coat and excuse yourself." Paul was deliberate in his movements, he turned to face me wordlessly, took both of my hands in his and folded the umbrella inside of them. Without ever releasing eye contact Paul unbuttoned his coat. He leaned in closer to pull it from around my shoulders. "What in the world was that?"

"You said I couldn't talk to her. I didn't." Paul answered with a smirk. Paul didn't realize what had just done. My dad's veins were throbbing in his forehead. "See you Friday." I watched him away, waiting for my dad to instigate the punishment.

"In the car. I can't believe you would even make our family look bad like that. What made you do that? Accept his coat and umbrella. You let him touch you?" I lowered my head, counted the stitches in my skirt. "Go home and go straight to your room. Understand?"

"Yes." I was holding back tears.

"Shane will be up later, unless your room is on fire. I don't want to see you." I nodded to my father. "Go." I nearly ran up the stairs, and closed my door behind me.

"Paul almost kissed me." I whispered to myself once I was alone in my room. "Almost. If my dad hadn't been there, I would've gotten my first kiss." I laid on my bed with homework in my lap, I was halfway done when Shane barged in without knocking. "Hi Shane."

"Where's your phone? Give me you cell phone."

"It's right here, why? There's nothing in it, a few texts from you. That's all."

"I want to look through the contacts. Make sure there's no chance you've been talking to that scum bag."

"Why does everyone think he's so horrible?"

"He's been seen smoking cigarettes, and kissing girls. I don't want to ever see you smoking, or kissing Paul for that matter." Shane tossed my phone back on my bed. My brother was my dad in training. Sometimes he could be a real jerk, but others, he was sweet. He'd listen to me talk, and allow to me actually talk. "You look upset."

"He almost kissed me today Shane. He was the first guy to show an interest in me. He wanted me to talk to him, not to just stand there and be eyed like a puppy in front of Safeway. How do you expect me to be happy that dad interrupted us?" Shane sat down on the foot of my bed, kicked off his dress shoes.

"I've never seen you like this. You really like him don't you?" I nodded, embarrassed. "You don't even know him. How can you like someone you don't know?" I shrugged silently, I didn't have an argument that would make sense to anyone outside of my head. "I can try to work some magic on dad, see if I can't chaperone an afternoon outing with you two. But, don't get excited, dad is pretty set on this one. I'll try for you though Stephanie. I've never seen you smile. Not since you hit like, ten."

"Since dad realized I was a girl." I said under my breath.

"Now, now. Dad's not that mean. He's just strict, he does it because he loves us. Sometimes I even think he loves you more. The way he bars you in your room sometimes, restricts you to talking to me. Like he wants you all to himself for the rest of your life." Shane patted my hand and left my room.


	2. Always Listen to Your Elders

"Happy Friday." That same voice said, directly to my right. "Mind if I stand here." I lowered my head. "I'm not leaving. We don't have to talk to each other. But I'm not leaving this spot until your dad pries me away." He leaned against my dad's car, rested his elbow on the roof. My dad didn't give us a long time to stand near each other, I had barely gained control of my goose-bumps when my dad walked over to yell at us.

"I thought I told you not to talk to my daughter."

"I didn't really. I'm just standing here."

"Well, you can't do that either. Get the heck away from my car, and my daughter."

"Stephanie, do you want me to leave you alone?" I didn't look up from my shoes. "Stephanie, you can answer me. I want you to." I didn't say a word, didn't even give him a shrug of the shoulders.

"I think you can take that as a no. Now go away. Leave my family alone."

"Can I have her number, for innocent conversation? Just every now and then?" My dad smiled a half smile, wrote down a number on a piece of paper.

"Here you go. Text it any time, but all texts will be scanned." Paul walked off happily.

"Happy Friday. Again. I loved talking to you all week."

"I hated waiting by the phone for your texts or calls."

"I was texting you all day, every day between Friday and this morning. What are you talking about?"

"I never got anything from you, oh my goodness. Let me see your phone." Paul pulled it from his pocket, handed it over to me. "You were texting my dad, the whole week. What exactly did you talk about?"

"Innocent things, where I live, how I feel about you. Things like that. I can't see him being upset about that." My dad was about to prove Paul wrong.

"You live alone, have for almost a year. You're not a virgin, you drink on occasion, smoke nearly a pack a day. And you're now going to leave my daughter alone, correct?"

"I will, after I get one thing I've wanted for a long time." Paul leaned in, took a piece of paper from his notebook. "This is _my_ number, call _me_ if you ever succeed at a prison break." Before I knew what to do his mouth was on mine, my lips were closed tight, but were slowly being eased open by Paul's tongue. I lifted my hand to push him away, but he took the advantage, wrapped my arms around his neck instead. My mouth was explored for what felt like days by his tongue, he had me by the waist, fingers prying to touch bare skin, but I had none showing. He released my mouth from the sweet torture; I tried to hide my blushing cheeks behind his. "I expect to hear from you."

"In the car Stephanie." I slipped back into reality, my dad yanked my arm, pushed me into the backseat. "I cannot believe you." I was still in awe, my lips felt swollen, my mouth tainted. "Kissing someone like that, means you've had sex. You don't kiss someone that way without having done other things with them first."

"Uh huh."

"How can you kiss him? Wasn't it like kissing an ashtray?"

"Uh huh."

"Then what was it like having sex with him? Was it worth it?"

"Uh huh." I wasn't listening to what my father was saying, at all. I barely had any coherent thought, the only thing I could think about was Paul. Anything about Paul, his hands on my waist, his mouth on mine, his tongue rubbing against my own.

"It was, well, was it worth this." My dad turned the car around, onto a strange street.

"Where are we going?" My dad reached behind me, smacked my leg.

"You don't get to ask questions. I don't have time for your impurity." My dad slammed on his brakes in front of a broken down brick building. "This is where you live now. If you can kiss him, and have sex with him, you can live with him."

"Have sex with him? I never did that. I promise. On my life."

"You've already broken a promise, that you made on a much larger life. Now you have to live with it. Get out of the car Stephanie. I'm not going to tell you again. If you're not out in three seconds I'm pulling you from the car by your hair. OUT!" I opened my door in a hurry, grabbed my bible and notebook. I rushed up to the steps, fighting back the tears until my dad was long gone.


	3. Rules Were Meant to Be Broken

I must've sat there for an hour before Paul came to the front door. He stepped out of his car, lit a cigarette and sat down beside me. He didn't say anything until he was down to the end of his cigarette, then he put it out and wrapped his arm around me.

"What's going on Stephanie?" He asked gently, any other guy I knew would've been angry, not Paul. "You can talk to me."

"My dad dropped me off. He's mad about the, uh, kiss. And he wants me to stay here, I think." Paul stood up and unlocked the door.

"It's a mess. I live alone, so I never clean." I stepped inside his apartment. It was like a little miniature home, the living room was the size of one of my house's bathrooms. A little loveseat was against one wall, a recliner was next to it. The only thing in the room of average size was the TV, a flat screen that was opposite the couch. "Come here." Paul mumbled from the love seat, I did as I was told, sat down on the other side of the mini-couch. "Stephanie, baby, I meant here." He wrapped his arm around me, pulled me closer. "You have a gorgeous voice." His lips were on my cheek, curved in a smile.

"It's cold in here." I tried to avoid the subject of my voice, Paul's a guy, I wasn't supposed to be here, alone in his house. Especially alone in his arms.

"You ok?" I nodded, his stubble rubbed across my face as my head moved against it. "Will you still be ok if I kiss you?" I didn't move, Paul leaned in closer. His lips like butterflies across my face, he hit my lips like a feather. His mouth opened barely, he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. I whimpered when his teeth came down on the skin. "Baby, use your tongue." He said under his breath, his mouth still grazing mine.

"What? How?" Paul was pulling me over his chest, his face buried in my hair.

"What do you mean how? You know how." I looked between us, there was a barely a gap, not even enough room for a hand. "You don't know how to kiss? Oh, that's ok. I can teach you." He kissed me again, this time with more power. He pushed my lips open with his tongue and dove inside. Just as he had done in the parking lot, he explored all the spaces in my mouth. I was trying to breathe without sounding excited, or nervous. Somehow during the kiss I ended up on my back on the couch, Paul over me with both hands pressed above my head into the cushions. "You feel so good." He was mumbling, more interested in what his lips could _do_ to me. And they could do wonderful things. "This shirt isn't fun though." He was pushing the sleeve to the side, fighting it as it came back again and again. "Damn it. Steph, baby, can't I just take it off?" I shut my eyes tight, shook my head no. "Really?" I looked into his eyes, the lust that had been there before was replaced with worry. "I don't have to." He sat up, lifted my legs so they could lie across his lap. He snaked his arms over the top of the couch, no pressure. "Wanna watch a movie?" The remote landed in my lap. "You pick. I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?"

"I don't drink. Neither should you." I shut my mouth tight after I said it. I shouldn't be giving him instruction. "I'll take a water though, if you can." We watched all of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone before I got bored. I was stiff and tired from my back being pressed against the couch. "Can I take a shower? I feel sticky and sweaty." Paul didn't object, he took a towel from the hall closet and tossed it at me.

"I'll get some clothes for you. I don't take you as the type to take a change of clothes to church." He winked and smiled while he walked away. "I don't have any of that girly shit Stephanie. Body wash or exfoliating crystals or whatever it is you chicks use. I have Axe soap. And generic brand shampoo."

"What about conditioner?"

"What's that?"

"You have long hair, and you don't use conditioner?"

"What's the point of that? I don't want to look like a female babe." He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving me to shower. "Holler if you want to join you. I'd be happy to scrub your back!" I blushed, happy to be behind the closed door when I did so. The clothes in my arms caught my eye, a tank top and sweats.

I'd never worn shirts that showed my shoulders before. Of course, I'd never worn pants before either.


	4. Personally, Don't Take it Personal

"Paul, I don't know what any of that means." I looked down at the shorthand instructions that Paul had written. "2So3, S3R4, S4R4?"

"Babe, 2 sets of three, set of 3 run of four, set of four run of four. Those are the phases."

"Can you write it in, English?"

"Have you ever even held cards?" He looked quizzically at the fanned out cards in my hands. "I can see them all from across the table. Can I help you set them up right?" He got up, stood behind me. In a flash the cards were closed into a tiny little deck, turn to face his seat, away from his eyes. He fanned them out properly and put them back into my hands. "Hold them with your thumbs like this. It's easier that way." He gave me a quick kiss, helped me to turn them around.

"Are you cheating?"

"I'm studying the spackle on the ceiling. I don't need to cheat. I'm gonna kick your butt anyway." He sat back down, organized his ten cards. "You get to take the first turn, I dealt. So, draw one, and if you have another one of the same number keep it." I drew a card, a 12. I had two of them in my hand already.

"Ok, if I want to keep it, what do I do?"

"Discard one you don't want, put it on the table, face up next to the big deck." I discarded a ten, Paul quickly snatched it up, replaced it with a six. The game went on for a few more turns.

"What do I do when I have it?" I had four 7's and three 12's.

"You have the whole phase?"

"And an extra seven." I laid it out on the table to prove it. "Do I win?"

"No quite, you still have to get rid of the rest of your cards." Paul had very little sportsmanship, he wasn't exactly angry about his apparent loss, but he didn't seem to be happy for me either.

"Why don't we just forget about it? I mean, it's a game, and I'm not supposed to play cards anyway, it's not ladylike."

"It's not 1920 Stephanie McMahon. It's 2010, women play stri-. Let's play a different game."

"Nuh uh. I may have lived like a caged animal, but that doesn't mean I'm a dumb duck. I know what you're talking about." I threw my cards down on the table angrily, I tried to walk away angrily but the pants strange cut made it hard for me to walk away at all.

"I'm playing around. Don't be so serious." Paul shuffled the cards and the put them away. "I wouldn't expect you to play. I know that you're a, well, you're a prude. But that's ok. Sometimes goody two shoes are hotter than any other type. Innocence is sexy." I plopped down on the love seat, leaned against the arm. I was sure to spread myself out completely. Paul would just have to sit in his recliner, I was too hurt to have him next to me. "Want to just drop it? Change the subject?"

"Please do."

"Ok, your hair is still wet. Would you like to blow dry it? I HAVE one of those."

"No, it's fine drying without any help." Paul stared at me tensely. "I can't believe you'd even say something like that."

"I was joking! Go- goodness." He was trying, that was for sure. He was so cute when he fighting to save what little of a relationship we had developed. "It's almost 9:30, if someone was gonna make you go home, it'd be by now right?"

"Probably." Paul stood up, lifted my calves over his as he sat down. "We need to talk." He nodded, willing to accept whatever I said. "Where am I sleeping?"

"My bed works for me. If that's ok with you?" I shook my head wordlessly. "Stephanie, I'd be willing to sleep on the couch, if I fit on it. But I don't. You can sleep on it if you want to. But you'll get a stiff neck and back. Then we'll really be up sh- a creek without a paddle. Your dad will think we did some rough sexual things, and we'll both be in a world of hurt. So, I can get a sleeping bag out of the closet and sleep completely separated from you."

"Except for being in the same bed."

"It won't even seem that way."

"I don't care." Paul leaned forward, he had me trapped between his arms.

"Can I try to sway your opinion?" He had his lips millimeters from my collarbone. I was sure I was going to have no choice but to give in to him when saved by the bell gained a whole new meaning. "Really? Doorbell? It's almost ten o'clock." Paul stood up, straightened his jeans. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can start by letting me take my sister home."

"Shane,"


	5. Gimme Three Steps

Author's Note: Alright my awesome readers, here goes it! Violence, gore! Not really. I hope you enjoy, keep up the reviews I love getting feedback, it keeps me writing! Thank you guys so much!

"Shane," I grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch to cover my exposed shoulders with it. "Did dad send you to get me?"

"He doesn't have to. You know he doesn't care where you end up. I don't want you here, and as your brother I have authority too." He stepped in without any consideration to Paul. "Get in the car now. And understand that when we get home, I'm going to give you the beating of your life." I took a step back, instinct kicked in and I hid behind Paul's mountainous frame. "In the car now!"

"Why don't you try asking Shane? Sometimes being the nice guy works better. Being an asshole normally gets you nowhere."

"What did you call me?" Shane sized him up, before I could say anything to stop one of them they were throwing punches.

"Is this what you do to your sister when she does something wrong?" Paul asked breathlessly once he had Shane on the floor, my brother's neck was lifted on the ground. Paul had some kind of chokehold locked on him. "Do you hit her?" Shane wriggled out of the hold until he had enough leverage to elbow Paul in the gut.

"Shane stop. Don't hurt him." I pleaded from the sidelines.

"Would you rather me hurt you Stephanie? You're gonna get yours at home remember?" Shane was up from beneath a gasping Paul in seconds. He had his hand raised to take the first swat at me. "Punishment for breaking a rule, three swats." He connected with number one, right across my face.

"If you touch her again." Paul said from behind me. "They will never find the body." Shane scowled, he was obviously threatened by the bigger man. "You have three seconds to get out my house Lynard."

"Who's counting?"

"2." Paul shouted. When Shane was long gone Paul turned me to face him. "What the hell was all of that about?" I flinched at his cursing, shrugged my shoulders. "He smacked you. Is that how things normally go?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm getting kinda sleepy."

"We need to talk about this," He was starting to talk with a lisp, his lip was swelling up. His eye was turning black and blue and there was a scrape on his cheek. I tested the boundaries, lifted my finger to touch his lip. "Ow, babe." I lowered my hand back to my side.

"That's my fault, isn't it?"

"What? My lip? No, it's Shane's. Cause he's a, well he's a freak. He's the one that hit me. Not you." Paul hugged me and took time to kiss each mark from Shane's hand on my cheek. "Do you want some ice for that?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?" He chuckled, lifted me off my feet.

"Let's go to bed." I pulled my head from his shoulder, stared him in the one-eye.

"What are you talking about? I'm sleeping on the couch."

"After that, I want you as close to me as possible." Paul said with a smile, he held me up with one hand while he opened his bedroom door. "Sorry about the flannel sheets, with both of us between them it will, unbearably hot." He lay down behind me, kissed my cheek. "I'm not going to push you. I just don't want to leave you alone. And I don't want to be alone either." He kissed my cheek again, much closer to my lips this time.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Doesn't what hurt?" I rolled over, tapped his lip with the very tip of my finger. "Kissing you take the pain away." He was so sweet, cheesy but sweet. He locked his forearm around my waist, tucked his chin over my head. "I haven't gone to bed this early since, middle school."

"Party animal." I snickered.

"Stephanie, I'm glad you're not that girl I met in the parking lot ALL the time. I like the real you a lot more." I smiled sheepishly, scooted closer to his body. "I know you're tired, I'll stop bugging you so you can get some sleep."


	6. We Come In Peace

I woke up next to Paul, he had his arms around me, one under my shoulders, the other tightly wound over my stomach. His palm was flat on my lower back. I didn't get a lot of sleep throughout the night, every little noise freaked me out. And then there was the not so little noise escaping through Paul's lips all night long. "Zzzzzz, zzzzzzzz, zzzzz,hakushen, zzzz."

"Paul, wake up."

"What time is it?" I turned my head, searching for a clock.

"I'm sorry, where's my phone?" I turned over, grabbed it off the nightstand. "8:30. Why am I awake at 8:30?"

"I don't know, what time do you normally wake up?"

"Like, 11." Paul grumbled. "I have 14 texts. From your dad." I rolled closer to read them over his shoulder. "He wants you to come home. And he wants me to go with you. Apparently the three of us need to talk about something." Paul pressed his hand firmer into my back. "It shouldn't be too serious right?"

"I can't imagine it's going to be good." Paul hovered over me for a split second before standing up.

"I'm going to hop in the shower really quick, and then we can go. Get dressed while I'm in there." He gave a reassuring wink and a smile before exiting the room. I heard the water kick on and the bathroom door shut.

"_Girl when I get you to the crib, Upstairs to the bed Girl you gon' think Girl when I pull back them sheets And you climb on top of me Girl you gon' think, You gonna think I invented sex." _

"He snores, and he sings in the shower. What a wonderful morning." I got dressed hurriedly, the last thing I wanted was to be naked when Paul came back in.

"Just put your hands in the air Wave em round and go Ewwww...Haaa Eee...ahhh Put your hands in the air Wave em round and go Ewwww...Haaa Eee...ahhh Girl." The singing continued after the shower was turned off. "Baby let me rope you up Tie you down Do it right No matter how hard you buck Gonna get wild all night." Paul was towel-clad, from the waist down. His shoulder-length hair clung to his neck and cheeks. "You like my singing?"

"It would be amazing, if you were a donkey." Paul rummaged through his dresser, he didn't seem to notice the boxers and socks landing on the already tall pile of clothes on the floor. "Do you clean up after yourself? Ever?"

"I do, but, I'm gonna do all my laundry anyway. I don't see the big deal." He held the towel with one hand and opened the closet with the other. "What does one wear to get screamed at by Vince?" He held up two pairs of boot cut jeans, and a pair of black trousers. "I can't run far-fast in any of them." When I didn't answer after a few seconds Paul waved the pants in front of my face. "Babe, opinion needed! Hey, hey, eyes up here." I lifted my gaze from his chest to his face. "I feel like one of Heff's girls." He stepped forward, put one pair of pants at a time over his towel. "Which one you like?" I held up two fingers. "The second pair it is."

Paul got dressed in the bathroom, grabbed a can of Axe and took it with us out the door. "You're taking your body spray?"

"I'm smoking in the car." He lit up on the porch inhaled slowly. "Does this disgust you?" I didn't say a word, he took my hand while we walked to the car. "If your dad is a total jerk, I'm taking you back with me."

"I want to go home though. I miss my bed, and my books."

"You can take your books here. I don't have room for your bed. But, we seem to fit just fine in mine." Paul's hand rested on my knee, unless he had to shift. "Directions?" I told him when to turn, I pretended not to notice that his hand was landing slightly higher and higher on my leg every time he lifted it to shift.

"This is it." Paul parallel parked outside of my house. My dad had some money left over from an inheritance and few very well thought out investments in the late '90s.

"It's nice." He took one last hit off of his second cigarette before chucking it out the car window. "You ready?"

"I guess." Paul stepped out, sprayed himself down and threw the can back onto his seat. I took his hand and we walked inside. "Hi dad."

"Sit down, we need to talk." Paul and I took seats next to each other on the couch. He wrapped his arm over my shoulders, rested his hand on my upper arm. "What did you two do to entertain yourselves last night?"

"We had entertainment supplied, your son tried to fight me last night Mr. McMahon." Paul's eye told the story without help. "Did you see what he did to my eye?" Paul pointed blindly at his eye. "I'm pretty pi-," He stopped in his tracks. "Upset."

"Shane went over there to check on his sister, I don't see how that's a problem."

"Where's mom?"

"She went to stay with her sister for a few days. Paul I'm willing to work a little with you. I want my daughter to be trained for the marriage world, and if you're willing to take on that task I'ld be happy to send her out on a few dates with you."

"I'm not training her for anything. I'm dating her Mr. McMahon. I'm the real deal here, not some obedience school teacher. I refuse to treat her like a puppy."

"May I talk to you alone, in the kitchen Paul." My boyfriend kissed me quickly before following my dad to the kitchen. I couldn't hear what happened in there, and I didn't like waiting alone in the living room. My father was in there with him for a half hour, but I didn't hear any grunts or chairs being smashed so I sat tight. My dad could get pretty violent sometimes, it wouldn't have surprised me if Paul came back with a second black eye.

"Hey babe." Paul came back with a slight grin on his face. "Come outside with me?" He shut the front door behind us. "Chaperoned dates only, for a month. Me you and Shane have to go together. Which is fine by me, because at least I'll be with you. We get five minutes after every date on the front porch. Your dad will looks through the window intermittently to make sure all hands are visible. But we'll mostly be alone." Paul wrapped his arms around my waist, I leaned forward and kissed him. Paul was obviously taken aback by the kiss, his lips tightened at first but opened to accept the kiss after a minute. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled away. "Where'd that come from?"

"Sheer joy." He looked down on my smiling for what seemed like an eternity. The lights flickered after another short kiss. "That so was not five minutes." I shuddered from the brisk air. "I'll see you, when will I see you?"

"I'm coming over tomorrow. I'm spending as much time with you as possible." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my cheek. Better get inside."


	7. HeyBaby?

Author's Note, ok guys, same as always, if you recognize it I don't own it. A lot happens in this chapter, and I need to know. I want to switch the Point of View over to Paul in the next chapter. Just for one chapter. Let me know what you think reviews are always welcome!

"This is my friend Shawn, Shawn this is my girlfriend Stephanie and her brother Shane. He's chaperoning." I waved at Shawn, but I was more interested in the curious look his girlfriend had. I eyed the girls too tight black jeans and her cropped tee. She had a little tattoo in the small of her back, and a piercing in her belly button. "This is Maria. She's been dating Shawn for about six months now. We'll leave you two alone while the guys and I go order. You want your usual baby?"

"Yes please." Paul kissed my forehead before scurrying off with Shawn and my brother.

"So, you're dating Paul huh?"

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "He's really sweet. What's Shawn like?"

"He's pretty cool. Him and I get along really great. And he's amazing in the sack."

"What, what do you mean?"

"You know, like, he's a good lay." I stared at her quizzically. "You know, he's good in bed. He's, uhh, good at sex. He performs well. I guess is how I could put it."

"You've had sex with him? But you're not married to him."

"No, in today's world you don't have to be married. I love Shawn, he knows I love him. From the time we had sex to now our relationship has become tighter. We practically live together. Ever since I hit 18. When do you become legal?"

"Six weeks."

"Well, you should give Paul a gift for your birthday, if you know what I mean." I looked away from her to the pleats in my skirt. "You guys haven't fucked yet have you?"

"No. I'm waiting until my wedding night."

"Good luck with that. You'll be lucky if you make it to your eighteenth birthday with Paul. He's good too. If you don't mind my saying."

"You've made love with him?" Maria coughed on her drink.

"I'd hardly call it making love. I was on a break with Shawn, and we hooked up. I didn't even stay the night." My stomach wrenched. "Hey don't get mad or anything. I'm not going to steal him from you. There was never really anything between us, it was just a slip up. Besides, Shawn is all I could ever ask for." She smiled at me, sincerely. "So, have you and Paul kissed even?"

"Oh yeah. He's really good at it." I giggled under my breath. "I'd never been kissed before. Paul was my first." I looked over at my charismatic boyfriend, he was carrying my plate and drink in one hand, his own in the other. Him and Shawn seemed to be joking about something, both were smiling and laughing. "Isn't he cute?"

"That's a trick question if I've ever heard one." Maria smiled at Shawn, she patted her stomach. "Oh, baby calls. Will you watch my purse?" She didn't wait for an answer, just rushed off to the bathroom.

"Hey baby, where'd Maria go?" Paul set my plate down in front of me, took his seat to my left.

"She said the baby called and she ran off." Paul glared at Shawn. "Is she pregnant Paul?" Shane was getting more and more angry by the second, but he sat silent. Watched the scene unfold.

"You got her pregnant Shawn? She's 18."

"I'm 21. I don't see the big deal you have with the age difference. Just because you aren't getting laid…" Shawn looked as if he instantly regretted his statement. "Paul, look, I didn't mean anything bad by that. You have a great girl over there,"

"Shut your mouth and eat." Maria came back to the table, a Wisp in hand. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm, we're expecting a baby. We were going to keep it a secret, but the smells in here. I couldn't take it." Shawn put his arm around her, rested his other hand on a stomach for a second. "I'm ok baby." The couple looked so happy. We moved on, ate in a very tense silence. Paul had his hand on my leg, no matter what look or grunt Shane threw at him.

"Shane, give it up, I'm not moving my hand."

"You're possessive Paul. I'm sure my dad will like to see that." Shane winked happily. "You're turning out to be better than we thought." I gripped Paul's hand tightly, the look on Shane face was one I'd seen many times before. It was normally followed by a swat or some other punishment.

After dinner the three of us separated from Shawn and Maria, who was getting sleepier with each passing moment. "Maria's pregnant?" I was in the backseat, Shane refused to ride in the back, and I wasn't about to piss him off.

"I guess. Baby, you know that we're not like them, right? I don't need sex to live." I nodded, I knew that Paul was looking at me in the rearview. Shane and Paul talked together the rest of the way home.

Paul and I sat on the couch, his arm around my shoulders. "Can I put my head on your shoulder?" Paul patted his upper chest. I put my head down, allowed his arm to slip down to my waist.

"What do you want for your birthday?" Paul questioned, lowering his lips down to my cheek. "Anything in particular?" I took my time, gulped before answering.

"I want you." We locked eyes, Paul's were wide doubting my response. "That's all I want. I'll be eighteen, I don't think it would be too hard to get my dad to let us out for a night." He kissed me sweetly, love flooded through the kiss.

"I'll talk to him about it. If you're sure." We kissed again, both giggling as the intensity built.


	8. Never Wanted Nothin' More

Author's Note: Well, I went for it. I made this one in Paul's POV, I just think that the conversation needed to be heard. Enjoy guys. Keep the reviews comin, I eat them for breakfast!

Paul's Point of View

I stood outside of Stephanie's front door. I'd been going over there a lot, mostly every day. I'd stay until Vince or Linda asked me to go home, normally around 8, although it was getting later and later. It was Sunday afternoon, a few hours after church. I'd given the family time for their regular Sunday meal. I stood on the porch dumbfounded a few minutes before I could knock.

"Paul, Stephanie's waiting for you in the living room. She says there's a movie in your two wanted to watch." Vince was scowling a little as I entered his home.

"Actually I'm here to talk to you." I walked behind the couch with Vince. Stephanie turned her head towards me, nervously. "If you have the time."

"Of course, come on the kitchen, Linda made a wonderful pie. I'm sure she'll cut you a slice." I followed Vince to the kitchen, took a seat on a barstool. "Linda, cut Paul some pie."

"Yes please Linda. It looks delicious." Linda placed a plate in front of me on the counter. "Vince, Linda, I want to give Stephanie a special gift on her eighteenth birthday."

"Absolutely not. Are you asking to have sex with my daughter on her birthday? That's more of a gift to yourself isn't it?"

"That's not what I was saying. Stephanie and I have been together for a few months now. But it feels like I've been with her my whole life. And I want to be with her for years to come. There's time for, love making, later in life. Right now, I want to celebrate her purity. Stephanie and I have never had sex. I know you think that we had, prior to our first kiss. But I understand her boundaries. And I love that's she pushes to keep them."

"Then what do you want to give her?"

"My grandmother's ring." I took it from my pocket. "It doesn't have to be an engagement ring, it can be a promise. But I want her to have the ultimate decision. I love her Mr. McMahon. I really do." I handed Linda the ring, she nearly fainted at the sight. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Does Stephanie know about this?" Vince asked.

"She has no idea, about any of it. My uncle has a cabin in a resort near the beach. I'm hoping to take her out there for a night."

"No fornicating out there right? I want my daughter to come back as virginal as she was when she left."

"I understand completely." I nodded, took the ring back from Vince.

"What will you do if she steps out of line while you're out there?"

"We'll talk about it. I don't see her 'stepping out of line', she's a good kid. And great girl."

"You're supposed to hit her. To smack her if she makes you angry. And if she really wrongs herself, you are to do it until she cries. Understand?"

"I'm not going to hit her, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that."

"She a girl, you decide what she deserves. Keep her under your thumb. It's the only way she'll stay by your side."

"I'll keep that in mind, if I need to use my physical strength I will. She'll miss a day of homeschooling, we'll leave Thursday night, be gone Thursday night, Friday night and come back late Saturday. That way we don't miss church."

"And the congregation is not to know about this, understood? Do you know what they would think of me if they knew?" I nodded.

"Stephanie isn't either. I'm going to surprise her." I exited the kitchen, plopped on the couch next to my girlfriend. She put her head on the inside of my shoulder, I wrapped my arm around her. I was begging to kiss her. To take her up to her room and celebrate what I knew was coming. To lay her down on her back, run my fingers up her shirt, pull it off. Hike that skirt up to her waist and plunge into her.

I was being tortured, each time she touched my groin lit up. Sharing a bed with her for two night was going to rip me apart. "Steph, baby, wanna go out tonight? To Shawn's maybe? It's been a month, we can go out alone now." I kissed her cheek. "Please." She stood up grabbed her coat. "I'll tell your dad."

"What's with the sudden escape?"

"I need a beer." That's all I could say as I sped towards Shawn's house.

"Why, what did my dad say that drove you to drink?"

"He wants me to hit you." I turned the radio up to avoid the conversation. Stephanie hated rap, but that's what was on all of my presets. "Change it if you want." Stephanie settled on the music, the station stayed the same until I pulled up behind Shawn's car in the driveway. "Shawn's probably already drunk." I opened the door without knocking, Shawn was on the couch holding a beer in one hand and Maria in the other. "Got anymore of those?" Stephanie's hand rubbed my back, sent chills down my spine. I leapt off to the fridge, slammed my first drink in front of the counter. I grabbed a second and went back to the living room. "How you feeling Maria?"

"Depends on the time of day I think. I feel awful at night, and worse in the morning. But for the most part I'm just nervous." Shawn rubbed his hand on her stomach, she was barely beginning to show. "Another few weeks and none of my clothes will fit." The hormones changed and she started crying uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry guys." Shawn set his beer down and hugged her, he kissed her gently, but soon had her off the couch, her legs around him while the sprinted for Shawn's room.

I took Shawn's spot on the couch, patted a place next to me for Stephanie. "What are they doing in there?"

"Use your imagination, or, I can show you." I took another long swig of my beer and led her to the other bedroom. I shut the door behind me, kissed her deeply. My arms encircled her slim waist, hands traveled down her back and came to rest on her hips. I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against hers. Step by step we traveled to the bed. I turned around to take the brunt of the fall back onto the mattress. I pulled Stephanie with me, she was giggling, she didn't know I intended on going farther than she had ever allowed. I had her on my lap, our lips were connected passionately. He skirt was scrunched up her hips, I saw more of her legs than I had ever seen, something about it drove me crazy. "If we go much farther, I won't be able to stop easily." I laid back, she stayed sitting right above the epicenter of heat in my jeans. "I'll stop, but, I'll be in the bathroom listening to Shawn and Maria."

"You'll stop?"

"I'll stop. I promise. Always, you never have to ask." To my surprise she leaned down and kissed me, her delicate fingers pushed into my shirt. With on swift movement I flipped us over, pummeled her neck with kisses. "You're so beautiful." I grazed my teeth along her earlobe. My hips settled on her while I roamed above her shoulders with my lips.

"Paul, I can't baby. You know that." I rolled over, the aching between legs unbearable. "Where are you going?"

"The bathroom." I grumbled. I shut the door behind me. "What the hell was I thinking?"


	9. Come Go With Me

Author's Note: Hello Readers, I'm having so much writing this! And I love getting the reviews! It was way too difficult to write from Paul's POV, so I'm going back to Steph, sorry for the brief interruption in Stephanie's subconscious mind! Love ya'll keep reading! Thank you to all my honest reviewers!

Paul, my parents and Shane were all gathered around the living room watching me unwrap gifts. My dad had gotten me a new skirt, my mom a new coat and Shane made a few CDs. I was really anticipating my gift from Paul, he was seated next to me in a nice formal clothes. He'd even 'strangled' himself with a tie. "Thank you guys so much." Paul handed me an envelope. I opened it delicately. "A travel guide?"

"I've talked to your parents, we're leaving for a cabin there in a few hours." I squealed in delight, kissed his cheek. "You need to pack. We'll be there for two nights, so, pack accordingly." I excused myself politely and ran upstairs.

"Calm down Stephanie, its Paul. He's great. And he's cute." I threw a few skirts in a bag, and the tight sweats I'd purchased without my parents knowing. They were easier to sleep in, and I thought Paul would be surprised to see in them. "He's waiting, pack fast." I mumbled to myself.

"You ready?" Paul was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs when I left my room with my suitcase. "Let me get that for you." He took it from my hands with ease. He set it on the floor, picked me up instead. I giggled in his arms, blushed when he kissed my cheek. "Alright McMahon's, we should be going. We'll be back on Saturday night." Paul grabbed my bag again, he still had his hand in mine.

"Not so fast, I want to take a picture of you two together. In case she never comes back, we have a picture of you." Paul growled in the back of his throat, but wrapped his arm around me anyway, a smile planted on his face. My dad snapped a few pictures before letting us go.

"How far away is it?" I asked after sliding into the front seat, Paul started the car and slid his hand under the last inch of my skirt. ""Are we going to be there before dark?" The sun was getting lower in the sky as I spoke.

"We'll be there by midnight. It's a long drive." I tilted my seat back and laid down. "Take a nap if you want to, I'll wake you up when the drive turns beautiful." Paul shifted his hand, took my own in his. I rolled on my side, tilted my head up to stare at him. He was so chiseled, and the glimmer of excitement on his face melted my heart. "I'm really excited Steph."

"Me too." I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep on the drive, I was too flustered. "What does this place look like?"

"It's not a very pretty building on the outside. Its surrounded by trees, there's a lake about a half mile away. But its too cold to go out there. We need to stop at the store on the way up and get food." Paul muttered a curse word under his breath. "I forgot about that."

"I'm not worried, we'll get there when we get there."

"The inside is amazing. Two bedrooms, a huge bathroom. It has a giant bathtub, big enough for two." He winked at me. "The living room has really high ceilings, and a fireplace against one wall. The furniture is top notch. My uncle put a lot of money into the place. He rents it out for like, 400 dollars a night." My eyes widened at the figure. "He let me use it for free, he knows how special you are to me."

"I'm special?" His thumb rubbed against my own.

"Of course you are." We pulled into Safeway's parking lot. "Let's be quick, I want to get you there before I have to carry you in." We rushed through the aisles of Safeway throwing items into the cart. "How about tacos?"

"I like tacos." We both laughed under our breath at the insignificance of our conversation. I started to push the cart away as Paul stepped up behind me. He placed his hands on either side of mine on the handle.

"I just, needed to be close to you." He said blushing as we walked on. He grabbed a half gallon of milk and some yogurt. "Grab what you want Birthday Girl."

Everything was different when I was with Paul, I was spoiled. Treated like a princess. He expected me to speak my mind, to tell him what I wanted. And what I didn't. It had been like that since day one, in the parking lot of the church. When he had given me my first kiss. I could see him and I down the road, married with a few kids running around in a backyard. I never saw us alone. I would be at his side through everything, and I could actually expect the same from him too. He was so different from all the men I'd ever known.

That night at Shawn's house, I felt like giving in. When we were kissing and Paul had his arms around me I really didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to keep touching all the places he'd been touching, and kissing all the places he'd been kissing. But I knew if I went with one night of pleasure, I wouldn't be able to live with the life of regret.

Paul sent me out to the car while he paid for the groceries. I sat in the passenger's seat smiling. In a few hours I'd be tangled up, cuddling with the only man I'd ever loved.

"Ready babe?" Paul started the car again and pulled onto the freeway. "You know that I love you, right?"

"I love you too."

"I mean it Stephanie. I've never said that to a girl before and meant it. I've said it to a few girls to get them into my bed, or onto the couch or whatever the case happened to be. But I've never said it because it was true."

"Me either." I lowered my head. "I do love you though." Paul set the cruise control and took his foot from the gas.

"I know." He had his arm between my neck and the headrest. "We'll be there in about three hours. The next two are all freeway driving." He pressed play on the CD player. _I Invented Sex_ blared through the speakers. Paul started to sing a long, I admired his donkey voice from the passenger seat.

"Wake up baby. We're here." He lifted me from the car with ease, shifted me onto his shoulder and started up the steps. "Open your eyes." They fluttered open, took in the sight before me. "And this is just the living room." Paul whispered in response to my 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. He turned the knob to a bedroom, laid me down on the bed. "This is our bedroom." The room was a deep red color, lighter trim around the interceptions of the walls.

"It's beautiful." I was in complete awe of the room's décor, and settling in to the bed's comfort. Paul lifted the blankets and slid in next to me. "What are you doing?"

"It's almost midnight. I've been driving for over three hours. I'm going to sleep." He wrapped his arms around me and tucked his chin into my neck. "Goodnight baby. I love you." In less than a minute he was snoring softly in my neck.

"Goodnight Paul."


	10. I Mean Every Word

Author's Note: Same disclaimer. This one is short guys! I'm sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger. But don't worry! I'll be back soon! I should actually have chapter 11 up tonight. So, read it and weep! Literally! Keep it up with the reviews! I still love em!

Paul woke me up at half after nine with a kiss on the lips. "Breakfast is ready Miss McMahon." With hands on my hips he guided me to the kitchen where pancakes and sausage were waiting for us. "I hope you like blueberries."

"You cook."

"I do. I live alone, I can't rely on KFC to keep looking sexy for you. I have to do some of my cooking at home." He fixed a plate for himself and me my own. "I'll meet you on the deck." He walked away from me, still in his pajamas.

"This is gorgeous." I set my plate down and pulled my chair out. "Thank you for breakfast." I ate in silence, staring out at the view in front of me. "It's delicious." I cut another piece of my pancake off and dipped it in the syrup. "I love it here."

"Wanna go for a walk after we finish eating? Just around the cabin, there's a lake. I told you about it. We can go sightsee down there. There are normally some deer and other wildlife down there."

"Sounds beautiful." Paul took my empty plate back to the kitchen, I went off to the bedroom to get dressed. I pulled the secret jeans from my suitcase and pulled them on. They fit tight, low rise jeans that showed a little bare skin on my back if I bent over too far. I slid my Ugg knock offs on over the ends of the legs. I pulled a sweater on, and zipped Paul's sweatshirt on over it. I gave myself a quick glance in the mirror before walking out to meet Paul in the living room. "How'd you get dressed, I thought we were sharing a room?"

"I put my clothes in the second bedroom." He hadn't looked up from my jeans. "Baby, where'd you get those?"

"I bought them, I wanted to see your reaction in them. I'm glad they came in handy." Paul stepped closer to me, took my hand in his. He twirled me around, whistled after I spun for him.

"Damn." It was the only word he said about it for a long moment. "I will miss playing peek a boo with your thigh though." He slipped his arm around my back. We walked through mud and brush for a long while. Paul stepped over taller piles of rubbish and turned back to lift me over them. "This is one of my favorite spots in the whole world." He said when we got to the lake. He spread a blanket out in the damp grass and sat down. I joined him, leaned my back against his chest. "Are you having fun?"

"I really am." Paul laid back, pulled me with him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Our lips connected, butterfly soft. We continued to kiss as his hands roamed. He had one between his sweatshirt and my t-shirt before he broke the kiss. "You know there's more than one reason I brought you out here, right?" He looked hungry, his eyes glazed over.

"Paul," I held up the finger that donned my purity ring.

"That's not the reason. Well, in a way I guess." Paul shifted our weight, pulled me up to a sitting position. He kneeled in front of me, the lust that has been in his eyes was replaced with nerves. "Stephanie, I know you're only eighteen, and I'm just a year your elder. But, I know what love is, and I found it because of you. I spend as much time as I can with you, and its never enough. I know I won't be satisfied until I have you in my arms for eternity. I want nothing more than to marry you one day. I'll give you as much time as you want to be a young lady, but, I want to give you this ring," He pulled a black velvet box from his pocket. "So you know that when you're ready to, I'll be at the other end of that aisle." He snapped the box open, a white gold ring with a centered diamond in the center gleamed at me. "Will you accept it?"

"Yes," I blushed when he slipped it on my finger. "Paul." I mumbled before kissing him. Paul leaned over me, his hand still holding the ring on my finger. We sat at the lakeside until the sun went down, and even on the way home we kept blushing. Our hands clasped together.


	11. I'm Not Playing Anymore

"It's cold out there."

"Give me a second and I'll get the fire going." Paul got the flames to roar in the fireplace, we cuddled on the couch in silence, watching the wood crackle. "Wanna play a game?"

"Sure, did you bring cards?"

"I was thinking we could play a different game. Something like, truth or dare."

"I've, umm, never played."

"I didn't figure you would have. It's fun, if you play right. I know you'll want to keep it PG-13, at the very least, and I'll play that way when it's your turn. But you can ask me, or dare me to do pretty much anything. Ok?" I nodded. "Truth or dare hon?"

"Truth."

"Playing it safe I see. Do you still watch Disney movies?" Paul chuckled, I could tell he was taking the game really gentle.

"Yes." I smiled at him, for no other reason than to smile. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Did you really have sex with Maria?" I shocked myself after I asked it. Mostly because I didn't back down.

"Stephanie, we don't want to ruin the mood."

"I'm not ruining it, I just want to know. Did you?"

"Yes, I did. A long time ago. And if you're worried about the baby being mine, it's not. She's been with Shawn for a long time now. And I'd never cheat on you."

"Dare." I didn't want to dwell on his answer. I was choked up at the thought of another girl giving him the gift I was saving to give him on our wedding night.

"I dare you, to forgive me, for having sex with her. I didn't know that I'd find you. And I really didn't expect you two to become friends."

"Paul, just give me an actual dare or I'm not playing anymore."

"I dare you, to tell your dad no one day."

"About what?"

"Whatever he's telling you to do that you don't want to. Wear skirts for example. You look amazing in whatever. I don't think any different of you just because you're wearing jeans." He squeezed me tighter to him. "Dare." I struggled for a minute, I shook my head and sighed heavily.

"I can't think of one."

"Truth, then."

"How many women have you had sex with?"

"A, few." I sat up, faced him. "I don't know Stephanie. Why is that important?"

"I just want to know what's going to happen on our wedding night. Am I going to look like an idiot while you do something you've done a thousand times?"

"I wouldn't say a thousand times. And you could never look like an idiot. I don't care about your, inexperience. I just want to be with you. Regardless."

"How many Paul? More than five?"

"Yes." He admitted, reaching out for my hand.

"More than ten."

"Probably." He interlaced our fingers, mine were limp on my knee.

"Twenty?"

"Stephanie, can't we just leave it alone?" He reached out with his other arm to pull me back onto his chest. "I really don't want the subject to start a fight."

"No. But, you can certainly leave me alone." I stood up, stalked off to the bedroom.

"Steph!" I heard him clunk down the hallway. The door opened behind me, Paul's shadow stepped through the threshold. "Please don't be angry with me. I'm not that guy anymore. I changed, for you." He tried to hug me, but I pushed away. "Stephanie, why are you packing?"

"I can't stay with you." I felt a tear hit my cheek. "I can't be the type of girl you want, someone who will agree to have sex with you."

"I don't need that."

"You lied to me today, by the lake. You want to marry me for sex don't you?" I turned around, looked him in the eye. "Didn't you Paul?"

"Baby, you have to believe me, I'd never do that. I want to be with you. Forever. Sex, eventually will be a part of us. But not now, I understand that. Please don't leave." Paul started taking the clothes out of my suitcase just as fast as I could put them in it. "Please, don't you trust me."

"Not anymore. You're, promiscuous."

"I was! I'm not." I grabbed the phone from the nightstand and called my dad. I explained that I needed a ride, and that Paul would take me into the nearest town. "You're really going?" I nodded, afraid that if I had to speak to him I'd cry. I took the ring off of my finger and folded it in my hand. "I gave it to you, and I meant every word I said. Keep it." He slipped it back on my finger. "I'm sorry Stephanie. For who I was."

"Just stay away from me until my dad gets here." I sat on the bed, buried my head in my hands. Paul stood quietly staring at me for a minute before he left the room. As soon as he was gone I let go. I felt the tears fall down my face, I had given in to him. I'd fallen for him head over heels, and then he snatched the floor out from under me.

"It's time to go." He was quiet when he walked in the door. "Can we talk for a minute?" He sat across from me on the King sized bed. "I didn't mean to upset you. I want to be honest with you, I did a lot of not thinking when I was younger. I went to parties, and I drank. And bad things happen when you're that young and you're that drunk. The girls I had sex with, none of them mean anything now."

"That's part of the problem Paul." My voice cracked from the sobbing. "Will I be like them? And suddenly not matter anymore." I wiped a few tears from my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I just need some time to think." I felt betrayed, his former life was going to eat at us if I didn't have time to think about it by myself. I planned on seeing him again. On loving him again. But at the moment, I could face him.


	12. I Love The Way You Lie

"Hey baby." My husband called from the doorway. Our son was bouncing in my arms, cooing at his momma's smile. "Baby?"

"I'm in the kitchen." I heard him take off his shoes and set his briefcase down on the tile by the door.

"Are you going to come here and kiss your husband?" The anger in his voice wouldn't have been recognized by anyone else. But, of course, no one else had ever heard it before. "Miss me?" He lowered his lips to mine, tugged my hair during the kiss. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes." I was lying, but I knew better than to be truthful. "Seth missed you too." I tried to place Seth in his daddy's arms.

"Yeah, well, little brat kept me up all night." He flicked Seth's arm, which resulted in him screaming.

"He's a baby Chris."

"He's a boy, who's mom spoils him too much. Look, I touch him and he starts screaming." Chris flopped down on the couch, turned on the game.

"He's six weeks old. And you didn't touch him. You flicked him." I rocked him back and forth in my arms. "I'd cry too."

"Are you saying flicking you would make you cry?" Chris boomed from the couch. I backed up towards the door as he stood up and stepped closer. "Go lay him down. He doesn't need to see this." I sprinted to Seth's nursery, knelt down into his crib and kissed him.

"Mommy loves you baby."

"NOW!" Chris had his belt in the doorway of Seth's room. It was looped in his hand, lashing out. It grazed my skin the first time, but the second it left a burning mark across my forearm, matching the ones from previous nights. "Come to bed Stephanie." I followed behind him, tears were already stinging my eyes. He slammed the bedroom door behind me, pushed me onto the bed. I didn't fight anymore, I let him get his way. Because he would in the end anyway. His fingers dug into my back after he pried my shirt off. My legs were forced open with his knee, my skirt was hunched up to my breasts. He punctuated each ripping thrust by digging his nails into somewhere on my body. My ribs, my neck, my shoulders took the brunt of his anger. I wanted to cry, but I knew it would fuel his fire. "You had enough?" He asked when he had finished. He threw my shirt back at me from the floor, I hurriedly got dressed and slipped under the blankets. "Stay in here. Dirty slut." Chris smacked me once more, this time on my face. "Your son is crying. I'll take care it."

"No! Please." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my feet.

"Did you just tell me no?" I stared into his eyes fearfully. I flashed back to that day nearly three years prior, at the cabin with Paul. My first love.

_ "I dare you to tell your dad no."_ The bravery in Paul's voice that night rang in my ears.

"I did. He's my son, you said so yourself. Let me get him, you're too tired anyway." Chris gave my arm a good second squeeze and he pulled me down the hallway to the baby's room. He tripped me purposely a few times as we walked down the hallway, each time grabbing me by the hair to pull me up. My knees were scraped and bleeding.

"Fix it then. And be here when I get back." He pushed me against the crib, before I opened my eyes again he was gone.

"Come on baby." I lifted Seth from his crib. Swaddled him against my chest. "We're gonna go see mommy's friend. He'll love you." My baby went back to sleep once he was in my arms, he was gorgeous, with deep hazel eyes and blushing cheeks. I took him first to my closet, behind my clothes. I had hidden a box back there with a few things I really didn't want my 'loving' husband to know I had. One thing in particular. I grabbed an extra sweatshirt to wrap around Seth and pulled, the stroller out of the closet. My son whimpered when I set him down in the stroller, settled down after a few seconds of shaking his fists. "Shh, go back to sleep."

It was summer time, three years after my fall vacation with Paul. After six months of grieving my own stupidity I met Chris, and was convinced to give him a chance. Things moved fast with Chris. I was married to him in six months, and immediately after the wedding I regretted it.

Chris had insisted on starting the wedding night celebration in the car on the way to the reception. My impending waddle was extremely noticeable during our first dance. And from that point on, I became Mr. Mordetsky's sex slave. Every night, at least once my hands would be pinned above my head or behind my back and what he called 'love making' would occur. I called it abuse, but not to his face.

My husband had kept me close to my family, we'd only moved about three miles away. We still attended the same church, and had dinner with my folks every Sunday. "We're almost there." I stopped on the sidewalk, put a pacifier in Seth's mouth. I made the walk to my parent's house about once a week when the weather was nice, and my destination was only a few blocks away from them. The sun was starting to set, and the summer breeze was picking up. "I'm hurrying baby boy." My shoulders were starting to sting, and my legs were starting to wobble. My legs were ready to give out when I knocked on the metal door at the brick building I'd grown familiar with.

"Stephanie." His arms locked around me, my feel slid out from under my body when he grabbed me. "Steph," His voice was frantic, he lifted me up, cradled me againt his chest. "Jessie, get daddy some ice ok?" He laid me down on the couch and went back for the stroller. "What happened?"

"Paul, it's so good to see you." He lifted Seth from the stroller and laid him on my chest. "This is my son." Paul rubbed his fingertips on my face, I sat up, rocked Seth back and forth. "I'm fine Paul. I just missed you."

"You're dehydrated. And you have a big bruise on your face." A little girl came into the living room, tugged on Paul's pant leg. She handed him the ice he had asked for, and Paul touched my cheek with it. He ran his hand down the sides of my arms, stopping right where Seth started. 'There's nothing on him right? I'm not going to change his onesie, and find healing bruises?"

"He'd never hurt him."

"Daddy?" The little girl asked, she was startled by me and Seth.

"Come here baby."

"Daddy, who's that?" Her speech was garbled, like a baby's.

"This is Stephanie, she's my friend. Will you go play in your room for a few minutes?"

"Is she ok?"

"I don't know honey. I think so. Go get some books together, I'll read them to you and her baby later, ok?" I watched the two of them together, and was instantly jealous. His daughter wrapped his arms around Paul's neck, Paul returned the hug sweetly. Her curly blonde hair bounced as she ran down the hallway. "What happened? Let me see the little guy." Paul reached his arms out for Seth. "Hi sweetie. Uncle Paul's gonna take good care of you. And you Steph. What the hell happened?"

"In the last three years, a lot?" The sound of my own voice startled me. Paul's house was my safe place, I could say whatever I needed to here. "I got married." I watched Paul's face fall. "And I had a baby with him."

"I see that." Paul was staring at me, mindlessly rocking Seth in his arms. "What's the baby's name?"

"Seth." I wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm a housewife, I never leave home. My husband is just like my dad Paul. Just like him, only worse. I can't do anything right. And every time I do something wrong," I hiccupped, unable to finish my sentence. "Please just let me stay here. I know I'm married, and that you probably are too."

"Why do you say that?"

"Your daughter." I said through sobs. Paul laid Seth on the couch next to him, next thing I knew I was in his arms.


	13. I Never Knew I Needed Him

Author's Note: Hey guys! I thank you all for the reviews, as usual. Also, as usual, no one and nothing belongs to me. Except what's not recognized. Jcott, Stephanie's not married to Jericho. I happen to like Jerky, and wouldn't make him a bad guy. Read the chapter over, and you'll see the last name. Keep reading and reviewing ya'll! Happy Thanksgiving!

Paul insisted that I sleep over that night. I was ready to pack up and go to my parents', tell them that Chris had a big case the next day at work and couldn't be bothered by the baby. At least my dad would understand that. But Paul simply asked, once, and I was in for the night.

"Daddy, make pancakes." I could hear Jessie beg from the kitchen. "Daddy!" She screamed, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I laid tense, squeezing my own baby to my chest. But the scream was soon followed by giggles and Paul's own deep laugh. "Can we wake up that girl?"

"I'll go in and see if she's awake, but she's tired Jess." I pretended to be asleep, closed my eyes when I heard the knock at the door. "Steph, it's me. Are you awake?" Paul sat on the bed next to me, his hand rubbed delicately along my hairline. "Stephanie, honey, do you want me to get Seth breakfast. Shawn left formula here." I opened my eyes, stared up at the man leaning above me. "Your bruise is worse today."

"Seth breastfeeds."

"That's good, its better for him. Well, how about I make you breakfast then?" Paul wrapped his arm over me to pat Seth's back.

"I heard Jessie say something about pancakes. Is this true?" Seth started crying, loudly. "Shh," My shhing didn't have any effect on him. "Will you get the pancakes started without me? I have to feed him."

"I don't mind if I stick around for this." Paul kicked his feet up in the bed, leaned back against the headboard. I sat up and arched an eyebrow. "I'm kidding, I'll go." Paul patted Seth's back again and left the room. I pulled my shirt up and let Seth latch on. After a few minutes he coughed and pulled away.

"I'm not good at this part, so bear with me babe." I lifted him onto my shoulder and patted his back. Nothing. "Sweetie, I know its there. I don't even care if you spit up." I patted him for awhile longer and he still didn't burp. "Only your dad can do it." I stood up and pulled Paul's sweats up.

"Hey, breakfast is served." I didn't look at him or Jessie, I knew if I had I wouldn't do the right thing. "Bye Paul, thank you for letting me get my thoughts together. I needed that. I'll see you later Jessie." I grabbed my purse from the couch and opened the door. Seth's stroller was still outside, blown over in the night breeze.

"Stephanie don't go. Come on, look at what this guy did to you." To remind me Paul held out my arm. I had several big bruises on my left arm, the rest were hidden under Seth in my right.

"I'm married to him. We're bound, by law and by spirit." I held up my ring finger to prove it, and reminded myself. "And, this is yours." I dug around in my purse, pulled out the white gold ring Paul had given me. "I think that since I'm married, I don't need to hold onto it anymore." Paul fiddled it in his fingers. "Here." I took my hand away, but got it pulled back immediately. He pulled the ring that Chris had given me off, and slid his own back.

"Stephanie, if you go back, take me with you. In some way." He leaned down to kiss me, I knew it ws coming and didn't pull away. "Please don't go. We can all be happy here. There's not a lot of room here, but we can make it work."I stepped away, Paul followed me. "I can't chase you down Stephanie. I have Jessie in there. Don't make me chase you down."

"Go back to your daughter."

"Come back with me. Please. I, I won't live with myself. Not if you go." He was pleading from the front porch. "I'll get down on my knees Stephanie."

"I need to go."

"Do you love Seth?"

"Paul, what the heck are you even saying?"

"Do you love Seth, Steph? It should be a simple question."

"Of course I love him, he's my son."

"And you're going to take him back there? That doesn't exactly scream love." Paul's voice was low, gruff. "I've shown you love Stephanie. I know you know what it is."

"He loves me."

"He hits you." Paul wrapped his arms around me from behind. "Why do you think you need to go back to him?"

"I can't burp him." I felt more tears rise to the surface of my eyes, and barely remember being pulled back inside Paul's living room.

"Stephanie, it's like this." He put his arms around me, balanced my son on his shoulder. "Rub his back, ok, pat him. A little harder, you won't hurt him. Rub his back again." When Seth made a guttural noise I knew I'd succeeded. "Now, you have no excuse. Please, stay here."

"The pancakes are getting cold." Jessie whined from the kitchen.

"Yeah Stephanie, the pancakes are getting cold. You don't want to eat cold pancakes do you?" His eyes gleamed, begging me to stay.

"No, I wouldn't." I smiled at him, joined him and Jessie at the table.


	14. With Help From Megan

"I'm taking a shower."

"The offer still stands." I looked at him quizzically. "I'll still join you." He winked from the bed, my son was on his chest, asleep. Jessie was curled up next to the boys in the bed, squeezing her daddy's arm.

"And leave all that?" I smiled back and made my way to the bathroom. I'd been at Paul's for two days, he hadn't asked anymore questions about Chris. He didn't even know my last name yet. I turned on the hot water, and stepped inside his shower. The hot water was painful on the cuts, but felt good on most of the bruises. "Paul, come here!" I yelled through the door and over the water.

"Huh?" He was there in an instant. "What is it?" I heard his shirt hit the floor.

"Not that, if I cover up my front, will you look at my back? It feels like I have something stuck inside of it. Like under the skin." I wrapped the shower curtain around me like a backless dress. "Do you see anything?" His finger tips traced my skin with the gentlest touch.

"I see a lot that I don't like. He did all of this to you with his bare hands?"

"We're wasting water." He slid out of his pants and boxers, grabbed a few antiseptics off the counter before he stepped into the shower. "Paul what are you doing?"

"I won't look at anything but the cuts. We need to get them clean, do you know what this guy could've had under his fingernails?" Paul was honest, he only touched the tender places on my back and shoulders. "Anywhere else?" He kept his hands on my shoulders, massaged them for a minute. "Don't be nervous. I really can't see anything. And I wouldn't look unless you asked me to." He wrapped his arm around my waist. "Look up Steph." I did, his eyes were closed.

"So, are you getting out?"

"I really don't want to. I don't want to leave your side at all. Not with this Chris guy out to kill you."

"That Chris guy is my husband. I'm still Mrs. Mordetsky." Paul's eyes shot open.

"Mor-det-sky? Christopher Mordetsky? He had a ponytail, and then he cut it off. A year ago right? And then, his mom's name is Patricia? His dad's name is, Paul. Paul, Sr."

"I take it you know him."

"Did you meet his parents?"

"Yeah, of course. They came to our wedding. And they were there when we announced the engagement." Paul turned me to face him, the water was dripping down my still pregnant looking stomach, there was water streaming down his face. "Did he, was Seth?" His train of thought as he looked down. His reddening face turned white, and then into a blushy pink. "I'm , s-s-sorry." He slowly lifted his gaze back to me. "I'm, sorry." I didn't object, I'd stolen a peek too. I'd also said a quick prayer hoping to be forgiven.

"What were you accusing my husband of?"

"I'm asking, did you ever, say no?"

"Paul, I'm not going to kiss and tell."

"I'm not asking about the times you consented, if you ever did. Did you ever ask him to stop?"

"Yes." I hoped that the shower would shadow my tears.

"Did he stop?"

"Once."

"How many times did you say it?"

"Every time." Paul grabbed me, pulled me into a bear hug that ended with us sliding down into the tub. "Where are the kids?"

"Don't worry, they're ok." I could feel 'him' pressing into my pregnancy weight. "And you're going to be ok now too. You never have to go back there again. I'd hate it if you did."

"How do you know him?" The words had long generous pauses between them.

"Stephanie, please don't hate me." He stood up, handed me a towel after a short glance at my body. "You're so pretty." I wrapped myself in the towel and stood up to meet him. "Get dressed sweetie. I'll get it set up."

"Get what," He was gone already, his hips covered by the off white towel.

"Ok, what's going on?" He had sweats on, nothing else. The top of his 'v' muscle showed above the sweats tie.

"Come here." On the coffee table was the laptop, starting up. "Look at pictures with me." He had a photo album spread out on his legs.

"Don't avoid the subject Paul."

"I'm not." He pointed at a boy, maybe six. "This is me, the day before."

"The day before what?"

"And these are my parents that same day." Stephanie's eyes widened. "Patty, and Paul."

"No, no." I pushed his arm away from me, he pulled me back and the last two years of my life flashed before me. "No, no, stop."

"Stephanie, wait. You need to know."

"He's your, brother?"

"Steph, it's not like that. Please don't walk out on me again." I pushed away, backed myself into the arm of the loveseat. "Baby,"

"Don't call me baby." I started to stand up, but Paul grabbed my hand. My left hand, that was donning his ring. "Let me go."

"Or what? You'll rip my heart out? You already have. Just let me tell you what happened." I backed away, he stood up after me, holding my left hand as he backed me into the wall. "Stop Stephanie." He had me cornered, pressed into the wall. "I need you to listen to me."

"I don't want to."

"Steph," He came closer, his arms were at my side, holding both of my hands.

"Stop."

"Not until you listen to me. Chris is adopted. He was a kid from a bad home in another state. We're not blood." He had a slight smile, more a begging expression than anything else. His face got within inches of mine. My knees weakened, the plot thickened after the incident in the shower. "Do you know what Megan's Law is?"

"No."

"Have you ever been on the internet?"

"No."

"Come here, I have to show you this." He pulled me back to the couch, my fear was still bubbling up under my skin. "You know I'd never hurt you right?"

"You backed me into a wall."

"I'd still never hurt you." I sat on his lap, he pulled the page up. "This site is called Megan's Law. It's a site where they list registered sex offenders."

"No," I whined.

"When a person is registered a sex offender, its for life. And, Chris is on here." He pulled up Chris's information. It listed our current address, his tattoos and birthmarks. "Do you want to see his offenses?"

"I want it to go away."

"I do too Stephanie, I can't stand seeing you like this." He clicked on the offenses link.

'_Rape by force, oral copulation by force and lewd or lascivious acts with a child under 14 years old.'_

"He did all that?"

"And more, but they couldn't convict him of everything." His arms wrapped around me tighter, he tried to be careful of the bruises.

"I know I can't do it, but I want to leave him. Officially."

"Like 'Going Through the Big D And Don't Mean Dallas'?"

"Yes." Paul hugged me, laid me down on the couch.

"I'll be there for you sweetie."

"I feel like I've been here before." Paul's chin scratched against my shoulder. He lifted me up and carried me to his room where the kids were tucked in, napping. "Let's watch the end of their movie." He agreed wordlessly, held me through Toy Story.


	15. Good News And Bad News

Paul's bed got more and more comfortable, even with the four of us in it. Seth abandoned me for the most part. He liked the solidity of Paul's chest more. He still needed his mommy sometimes, but for the most part he liked Paul. Jessie took to me really fast, spent most nights wrapped under my arm cuddled into me. Paul kept his hands to himself for the most part, random hip touches or caresses of my back when I rolled over.

I'd been there for two weeks, and I hadn't heard from Chris at all. Paul and I had gone to the lawyer and gotten the divorce started, all we had to do was take care of the paperwork, and I was a free woman.

"So, uhh, that was Chris' attorney. He got served today."

"He did?" My blood pressure shot up. "So, it's really started."

"It has. Are you ok?"

"What if he goes for custody?" I let the one thing I'd been worrying about out. "If I lose Seth."

"They won't leave a registered sex offender alone with a baby. Besides, the mom almost always wins." Paul encircled me in his arms. He was standing outside, smoking. Once I moved in he started taking that outside again.

"You're suffocating me."

"I'm not even squeezing."

"It's the smoke." He put the cigarette out on the railing. We stood on his front porch like that for awhile, him holding me, staring out at the street where the kids would learn how to ride their bikes. A blue car pulled up on the street, parked behind Paul's little Mustang. "I need to go," I wiggled in Paul's grasp, but he held me tight. "I need to go Paul."

"He won't come near you."

"What, the, fuck Stephanie? After all I gave you? You left me! You little whore." The man I married stood in front of me on the porch. I was defenseless, Paul holding me from escape. "And you came running here, where I could find you, with my foster brother."

"I didn't have anywhere else to go." I whispered.

"What's your excuse Paul?"

"I don't need one. You need to do some thinking. In jail, or a padded room." Chris stepped forward, his fist raised.

"Paul," I pressed my full back into his chest. "Please, let me go."

"Go inside, and get Seth." Chris yelled. "Bring my son home with you. You belong at home Stephanie."

"The hell she does. She's here because you hurt her. Do you know how messed up she was?" Paul gave me a quick squeeze. "Go inside, be with the kids." I nodded and ran off. I sat down with Jessie and Seth in the living room. I pretended that nothing was going on outside, but I hoped that Paul was beating him up pretty good.

"Where's daddy?" Jessie curled into my lap, she heard grunts outside. "Is he ok?"

"Yeah." I hugged her while I waited for Paul to come inside. Seth cried, though he was only 2 months old he could sense tension. "It's ok baby." I tried to quiet him quickly so Chris wouldn't hear him.

"I hope you're fucking happy Chris. She's afraid of everything."

"Daddy?" Jessie tried to stand up. "I want to see him."

"No, sweetie. He'll be here in a minute." Jessie grasped my arm, I got her mesmerized by the baby, they were playing together. "You're a good cousin Jessie." They played peek-a-boo together, Jessie would clasp her hands over her face, and then lower them in an attempt to make Seth smile. He'd been smiling a little bit, but not a lot. And it was nice to have her there to do it. Since I couldn't concentrate on anything but Paul outside.

I heard a crash outside, and a groan that could've come from either man.

"What was that?" I shrugged.

"Stephanie," Paul walked in the front door, locked it behind him. "I, I need your help." He was bleeding from his nose and lip, and when he tilted over to catch his breath he coughed blood up from his throat.

"Daddy!" Jessie ran to him, crying helplessly.

"Steph, help." I laid Seth on the couch and kneeled beside him. "He's gone, he left. He won't be back. Help me." I reached out my arm and helped him to his feet.

"Come lay on the couch."

"Take me to the bedroom. So we can," He coughed again, my clothes were spattered with blood. "Shut the door." He coughed again, more blood.

"How did this happen?" I helped him lay down, took the water bottle from the nightstand and poured some on a t-shirt lying on the bed. I rubbed the water on his lips, wiped the blood off. I tried as hard as I could to stop the bleeding from his nose. "Baby, answer me."

"It hurts." He choked, leaned over the bed and spat blood on the carpet. "I'm ok. I'm ok." He rubbed my hair back from my face. "He tried to strangle me. He said he needed you." He coughed again, no blood this time. "He probably just ruptured a blood vessel." He tilted his head back, bruises covered his neck. "He's violent baby girl. How'd you live with him?" He touched my cheek. "I'm fine, I promise." His nose finally stopped bleeding. "I don't think he broke anything. You don't have to worry. But, will you help me get cleaned up before Jessie has a panic attack." I lifted his shirt over his hand, used it to dab the blood and sweat off his chest. He was quiet, watched my hands doctor him up. "I'm glad you're here Stephanie." He whispered. "I love you." I smiled, cleaned him up more. "I'm gonna take a shower, if you can help me to the bathroom." He stood up, leaned on me. "Stephanie, hold on to me while I take my pants off." I wrapped my arms around his chest, he slipped his pants off and dropped them to the floor. "I can do the rest." He dipped his head down, still gasping for breath from earlier. "Tell me you'll still be here when I get out."

"I'll still be here when you get out."

"Kiss me." I smiled, leaned onto the very tips of my toes. His fluttered shut as my lips touched his cheek. "Whoa, what?" He murmured while he wrapped his arms around my back. He was putting a lot of his weight on me, but he was trying hard not to fall on me. "That's all I get?" He said with a smile.

"I'm not kissing your bloody lips Paul. That's disgusting." I winked and got kissed on the cheek again.

"I get it." We stood there for a moment, relishing in the moment. "You're so pretty."

"I need to go to Jessie. Before she cries herself sick." I left him alone in the bathroom.

"Is he ok?"

"He's going to shower. But he'll be ok." Jessie crawled up next to me, she was so smart for her age. She was only almost three, but she talked like a little adult. All grown up it seemed.

Her age meant that Paul hadn't needed much time to get over me. He just went after her mother after we were done. Her birthday meant that she was conceived the same month that broke up with him. I'd meant to ask him about it, but I couldn't bring myself to.


End file.
